1s battle to a draw against the men from Harrow ** 2s implode at Teddington  ** 3s star in Carry on Cricket  ** Walker School fete inspires Gunn to hit a ton, but 4s still lose  ** Under 15s star Jack Jacobs takes three wickets in four balls  ** Trees march on in the Bertie Joel Cup

1st XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 1
Southgate v Harrow Town  – match drawn. Southgate 4 points

Southgate 255-6 (50 overs) Durgacharan 103, Crease 72
Harrow Town 199-9 (50 overs) Crease 4-64

On Saturday we entertained Harrow Town, a newly promoted team sitting one place behind us with only wins and losses in the league this year. No draws suggested to me they like to play some shots and maybe haven’t got the hang of settling for a good old-fashioned point. The inside track from Hadgie, who knew some of their guys, was that they weren’t shy of attacking stroke play and laughed big Sri Lankan laughs in the face of people playing for a point. After the victory against Richmond last week and results going our way, Southgate were looking for big points and hoping to take charge straight away.

“It’s a big ground isn’t it” said their skipper.

“Yeah, a lovely place to bat first in the sunshine,” I replied confidently in an effort to  cloud his judgement. Apparently the Harrow Town ground is small and the wicket flat, and was later described as a ‘road running through a postage stamp’ which sounds like fun.

Up went the coin and Harrow called correctly. He still wasn’t sure.

Man from Harrow: “can we have a think?”

Rob J: “Of course”

Man from Harrow: “We’ll have a bowl”

“Oh thank you!” I said enthusiastically trying to make them think they’d made the wrong choice. On hot days it’s not a bad toss to lose, I thought.

After a quiet start we lost the wickets of Jamie and Tom and Matthew Creese strode out with 38 on the board to join Alvin. With crafty nagging medium pace and spin the order of the day, scoring runs required both application and skill. The Harrow Town boys were made to work hard and chase some leather, with Matt in particular taking the attack to the spinners with good footwork and placement. Alvin reached a well-made 50 and set his stall out to bat through the innings, something we always talk about but in club cricket is rarely achieved, especially on such a hot day and on a wicket where the ball didn’t quite come on to the bat.

Matt departed for an excellent 72, building on a match winning 87no in the Bertie Joel Cup midweek. Hadgie and Ben chipped in with aggressive cameos, but the clear highlight was Alvin reaching the magical three figures. It required several unscheduled Lucazade stops, but it was a very determined intelligent and valuable innings. Well batted, sir.

Opinion was split as to a good score. One view was the wicket was difficult and 200 was plenty; Hadgie knew they could bash it a bit and thought we needed 250-plus. I wanted 250, even if it meant batting longer.

With Harrow Town employing the tactic of putting everyone on the boundary from the 45th over, a weary Alvin departed for 103 and was followed next ball by the Hoff, leaving Rob and Faisal to embark on an unscheduled ‘bleep test’. This essentially required them to run two off every ball for the last two overs with everyone on the fence. 255/6 from 50 was a good place to be, but as always we needed to bowl and field well.

Opting for swingers at both ends, Ben picked up three important wickets, but it was quickly apparent that the Harrow Town lads had a penchant for hitting the ball a very long way. Creese (4-for) and Johnson (1-for) then bowled and fielded in tandem, Rob shelling a sitter at square leg off Matt and then Matt taking a blinder in the deep off a Johnson magic ball (shin high). Rob redeemed himself minutes later, but a handsome reward is still being offered to find the man who has stolen his previously ‘safe’ hands.

Wickets fell, but not cheaply as Harrow continued to blast away. With the required run rate hovering around six per over and still a few wickets in hand, the last 20 overs were not straightforward. Faisal came on down the slope and made a breakthrough in his second over to get them nine down, but unfortunately the final wicket couldn’t be taken, with the Harrow number 7 looking an accomplished batsman and the number 11 hanging on for dear life. Perhaps we could have attacked the stumps a little more, but in fairness to Harrow Town I think they deserved something from the game. With a little more restraint from one of their top six they would have won the game and I expect them to beat a few good sides before the end of the year.

We have now completed one half of the season and shown that when we play to our strengths and our potential we are as good as anyone in the division. However, any team in the division is capable of getting a result against the odds and we have two tricky fixtures to come, with South Hampstead always providing a competitive edge against us and Enfield at home always dangerous.

Please make every effort to be at the Race Night on Friday 16 July and at Winchmore Hill for the third round of the Twenty20  on Sunday 18 July. Rob Johnson

2nd XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 1, second teams
Teddington v Southgate  – Teddington won by 8 wickets. Southgate 0 points

Southgate 137 all out (48.3 overs)

Teddington 142-2 (16 overs)

I was saving my next match report for the first victory of the season. However, many of you will have noted the inverse proportionality to the result above and my scribing the second XI’s latest effort.

In truth, there is little to write that has not already been said. On paper we fielded one of our strongest sides of the year, but performances don’t match. Wilson and I have failed to put on 50 for the first wicket, which is definitely against the long term average. While I welcome not watching him attempt to slap a wide one over point for two hours, I would now put up with that in order to get the team off on a decent footing for the rest of the side to build on.

Teddington is a lovely place to play cricket: happy memories abound of Woffers guiling out the hard-handed, hot-headed batsmen that pervade their second XI, and of Sage picking up some road-kill venison to marinade on the way home and BBQ later.

The used, dry pitch looked like a real beauty; like home but with bounce and carry. On winning the toss I decided to bat first, hoping to put a few runs on the board and use Vinson and Mazhar to tie them down. Unfortunately, we found ourselves at 60-5 for I think the seventh of nine attempts this season. At this stage Dangerfield and Katyal (38) engineered a fightback, but after a run out and clearly under pressure we managed to total just 137.

Usually, losing results cause some friction within a side, but occasionally the opposition side contains such a p**** that your own team unites in hatred. Fair enough, it was gay pride day, but cutting the sleeves of your short-sleeved shirt is excessive and meant two free tickets to the gun show for all. Despite knowing how he would play (plant foot, swing bat) we contrived to bowl exactly to Jim Nutt’s strengths and he raced to 50. Clearly he was in a rush to throw on the beater and hotfoot it to the Admiral Duncan for the evening’s festivities.  Vinson and Mazhar did bowl well, extracting the turn and bounce their bowlers failed to, but all was in vain.

Half way through, we have 1 point from a possible 90. Hampstead and Eastcote are still within two victories: let’s make relegation their problem rather than ours. Robin Paderson (aka Paddy Robinson)

3rd XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 3, third teams

South Hampstead v Southgate  – South Hampstead won by 53 runs. Southgate 0 points

South Hampstead 173 all out (38.1 overs)

Southgate 120 all out (38.2 overs)

Short diary of the weekend

•         Friday morning – call with Sage – found out was Captain – on train, can’t swear – gone into tunnel – cut off – decide not to call back – too upsetting.

•         Friday afternoon – Sage sends e-mail confirming ground

•         Friday late afternoon – send out e-mail asking players to contact me – contacted by a few people, some not selected – very strange

•         Friday evening – plan out what side does and research opposition – chased everything so far – must win toss and bowl

•         Friday later in evening – find out side completely changed – only have 10 – rewrite plan and steal Roy from 4s in late-night raid – assume Lenny too drunk to respond to e-mail

•         Saturday morning – make calls to seemingly most of club – all bar Hafiz confirmed – Habbers assures me he’s confirmed

•         Saturday 11:15 – pick up Crash and wait at Arnos Grove for Lenny and scorebook – Lenny late (predictably)

•         Saturday 11:30 – planned departure time at club – everyone there except Hafiz

•         Saturday Noon – depart leaving Sam (who has driven from Harrow to pick people up to go back to somewhere near Harrow – a star) to hang on for Hafiz

•         Saturday 12:10 – Sam leaves – no Hafiz

•         Saturday 12:20 – Lenny calls – Hafiz here – “He might as well play for us now”

•         Saturday 12:25 – Hafiz dropped at Arnos Grove – go to Greenford Tube, near Hanger Lane and phone RBL for instructions on where ground is

•         Saturday 12:45 – All on ground except Hafiz– no South Hampstead – call South Hampstead club house – number disconnected – worried

•         Saturday 12:50 – call Sage – Sage in supermarket buying lubricant – confirms spoke to Dipak

•         Saturday 12:55 – try Dipak – no answer – leave message

•         Saturday 12:59 – find out South Hampstead captain’s number – just pulled into car park

•         Saturday 13:25 – skipper finally ready for toss – “heads” – win toss – “You can have a bat”!

•         Saturday 13:35 – start bowling – two early wickets for Marrett – they smash it

•         Saturday 13:50 – Hafiz calls – outside Woodford Green station (Essex) – point out Southgate in Middlesex League

•         Saturday 14:00 – Hafiz on tube back to Greenford near Hanger Lane (Middlesex)

•         Saturday 14:01 – 15:10 – wicket for Marret, Ali and Lassman (2) – good catches and run out by Sabine – they are still smashing it

•         Saturday 15:11 – Hafiz arrives

•         Saturday 15:45 – bring Hafiz on to bowl – takes last three wickets! 61 overs to get 173

•         Saturday 16:40 – Southgate start batting – going OK apart from early wicket

•         Saturday 17:00 – 18:00 – umpire gives three of top five out LBW, others play back on front-foot wicket – game we should have won slipping away

•         Saturday 18:30 – umpire finishes game with fourth LBW – all out 118.

•         Saturday 18:45 – have quite word with opposition skipper about umpire having a very good grasp and understanding of the laws during first innings and applying judgment well. Seemed to lose judgment on LBW, wides and no balls in second innings – perhaps dehydrated and needed more fluids. Richard Bishop-Laggett

4th XI 1987 League, division 2
Southgate v Acton – Acton won by 3 wickets. Southgate 0 points

Southgate 187-4 (50 overs) Gunn 108 not out

Acton 188-7 (40.4 overs)

No report.

Under 15s match

Southgate v Edmonton – Southgate won by 69 runs

Southgate 111 for 2 (20 overs)

Edmonton 42 all out (11.2 overs)

Southgate duly executed the double over Edmonton at Southgate with a couple more fine individual performances. The first came from opening bat Mark Hughes who scored his maiden 50 for Southgate with an unbeaten 52 in our 111 for 2, supported by contributions from Josh Berman and Will Temple.

Edmonton were clearly weak and were dismissed in 11.2 overs for 42. David Huntingford yorked their key left-hand opener with his first ball, and Shiv-Raj Sharma took a catch off a powerful drive into the covers that Paul Collingwood would have been proud of. Jack Jacobs couldn’t emulate his four wickets in four balls from the earlier encounter but did take three wickets in his first four balls. Clearly Edmonton can’t play off spin – at least as served up so prodigiously by Jack. The quality of the fielding completely strangled the opposition – catches win matches! Ricky Gunn

Bertie Joel Cup – Round 2

Egham v Southgate – Southgate won by 5 wickets

Egham CC 224/8 (45 overs)

Southgate 225/5 (35 over) Creese 87no out, Johnson 51, Mir 42

It was Sage and Jez who came up with the very good idea over the winter of entering the Bertie Joel Cup AKA the ‘Dirtie Bertie’. Previously known as the Kemp Cup, the Bertie Joel Cup is the oldest knockout competition in the South East. Following the death of its founder, who was one of the great characters of London cricket, the cup has continued with Bertie’s widow, Irene, as its patron. Clubs throughout the Home Counties can apply to take part, and games are played predominantly in midweek with a showpiece final at a leading ground.

Southgate won the competition in 1982 and despite not entering for a number of years were given a bye in the first round and a home tie against Surrey-based Egham CC in round two.

On a glorious Thursday afternoon at the Walker Ground a formidable Southgate XI captained by Jeremy Dangerfield and containing six members of the first XI were asked to field first. It became clear immediately that their left-handed opener was a very good player and he hit a stylish 80-odd on an excellent batting wicket. Their number three looked like he might be more at home on the back pitch, but never judge a book by its cover. He played very well and was unlucky to miss out on a ton, ending up 97 not out as the Egham boys made a competitive 224 in their allotted 45 overs. Our star with the ball was young Ashley Sivarajah who bowled some good left-arm spin to grab three wickets. He was ably supported by Creese, Johnson, Hadgie, Omair Ali, Faisal and Adam Vinson, who looks to be developing his off-breaks to very good effect.

Some very tidy opening bowling from their chap who’d made 80 accounted for Craig Scotcher and Alvin, who were replaced by Creese at 3 and Johnson at 4. An aggressive 51 from 37 balls from Rob took charge of proceedings but his dismissal, square cutting the rankest of rank slow long hops to cover, left Creese to bat through and negotiate the chase. After an all too brief visit from Phil Dunnett, who was stumped off the keepers’ pads from a leg side delivery, Faisal came in and showed he’s in great form with the willow. A very entertaining 42 followed and with Creese working though the gears it was a very comfortable chase in the end with lots of overs to spare.

Southgate have an away fixture in the next round, potentially at Cambridge Granta where we had a lively game in the National a few years ago. Rob Johnson

Sunday match, 4 July

Wembley v Southgate – match drawn

Wembley 247 for 3 (38 overs)

Southgate 196 for 7 (42 overs)

“Well organised! Seems u have a new career – team secretary!!”  Thus texted one Charles Myers, Wembley resident, after I confirmed our ability to engage his side at Vale Farm on Sunday – and many a true word spoken in jest, having spent Thursday evening, Friday daytime (an Under 15s match occupied the evening) and Saturday morning raising a 4th XI to play Acton and a side to travel to Wembley – for which transportation provision was critical.

A small convoy successfully negotiated the byways of north London to arrive well in advance of the portly opposition skipper. High-level negotiations in competition with the 30th birthday party disco in the bar the night before had culminated in Paul Lassman being appointed (ie caving in to exhortations to be) skipper. Our perennial combination of age and youth dictated that Wembley should set the target, which they duly did with some rapidity, the only minor setback being the loss of an opener to Imran Khan – stumped – in (at long last) his debut game for the club. Kareem and Max Goldbart also picked up a well-deserved wicket apiece amidst the near-carnage of 247 for 3 in 38 overs. Other purveyors of the over-arm delivery were less successful, although 13 year-old Callum Silva impressed with four very controlled overs of sprightly medium pace.

A couple of fours and a tickle behind saw off yesterday’s centurion and elder statesman, and Partha too found scoring difficult, but a fruitful partnership between the two 17-year-olds Aman (40 – “I have finally got past 18!!”) and Kareem (57) gave us heart for a passable response. Paul then demonstrated his long recognised but all too rarely exploited ability to play a cultivated innings of measured defence and attack, hitting six boundaries (all along the ground – must remember that technique!) in his undefeated 34. Imran, too, batted attractively for 24.  Delmore, in the unaccustomed position of 7, played his first ball with a perfect straight bat and then unleashed an exquisite on-drive all along the deck for four.  Another gem of slicing a lifter past his ear for a second boundary preceded the inevitable straight delivery and coup de grace.  Father and son Rohan and Callum Silva missed and survived two further straight balls respectively and we closed on 196 for 7 after 42 overs.

Paul’s captaincy was impeccable. With a side heavy on limitations against a powerful opposition, he kept tight control on his field placing and masterfully handled his resources, ensuring that everybody had an opportunity to play a part in the game.  In doing so, he sacrificed his own bowling but took the chance to bat at five by way of recompense.  After the game he was mysteriously spirited away to discuss leg-spinning with John Haskell while others of us discussed the merits of pitch management with the groundsman who had just set up the sprinkler on that balmy Sunday summer evening. Ricky Gunn

PS: Very interesting statistic: in the 1,170 times I have been dismissed at cricket, I have never been out for 57. Kareem has achieved this at the dawn of his career!