1s steer their way to a winning draw  ** 2s embark on extend golf metaphor and get lost in the long grass ** 3s rue dropped catches  ** 4s falter  ** T20 triumph – we’re through to finals day  ** Hertingfordbury – we do the double  ** Delmore the Destroyer leads Sunday team to victory

1st XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 1
Enfield v Southgate – match drawn. Southgate 4 points

Southgate 288 all out (52 overs) Watkins 103, Allan 63, Durgacharan 53
Enfield 197-8 (48 overs) Faisal 3-34

Southgate travelled to Enfield under strict instructions from yours truly to be at the ground for 11:30am sharp. With Vice Presidents day taking place and large crowds expected, tactic number 1 was to get there early and steal the best parking spaces. Tactic 2 was a full-scale Matt Creese warm-up complete with the prerequisite array of coloured cones.

The skipper and vice-skipper moved out of the SCC command bunker with military precision, bang on time. The scheduled collection of James Watkins and an extra vehicle in Belsize Park, plus extra time factored in for the North Circular were all part of the plan, and with petrol in the tank we were on our way. Unfortunately, shortly after our scheduled departure, Johnson realised that the dossier he’d created containing directions, league tables, detailed statistics of the opposition, photos of Phil Dunnett’s girlfriend etc had been left on the settee. However, fear not, Athers was armed with two Blackberries, extensive experience of world travel and competency in several foreign languages – not only would he be able to operate Googlemaps he could also hack into Phil’s photo albums simultaneously.

After about an hour it became clear we were pretty lost, Tom’s Googlemaps had the wrong coordinates and we were potentially on route to Enfield CC in Lancashire. S,o after a quick stop for Athers to take a leak outside a garden centre somewhere in Hertfordshire, we did a u-turn and eventually made it to the ground approximately one hour late. Ooops.

The Enfield ground was a picture, with a good number of supporters in and the ground in excellent condition. We lost the toss and batted with the new partnership of Alvin and James Watkins walking out together for the first time. James set the tone second ball, leaning on a half volley and the ball racing away on a rapid outfield. Alvin continued his excellent run of form and together they negotiated the new ball in an orderly manner, putting bad balls to the fence, leaving well and playing pretty straight. As the rest of the team enjoyed the partnership, the Hoff positioned himself in customary stance facing the sun, Vinny read the Sun, Phil read the Beano and Rob played with his video camera.

It’s fair to say as the sun shone and the partnership developed the standard of chat deteriorated significantly. Topics included:

“Have you noticed how quickly the smell of asparagus shows up when you go to the loo” – Hartman

“How do you tell if a girl’s had cosmetic surgery” – Dunnett / Creese

“How much would you pay for a cricket bat” – Faisal Mir

First the 50, then 100 was posted and although the rate wasn’t express it was good to get runs on the board and a solid platform in place. Alvin departed, neatly stumped down the leg-side, and enter Tom Allan with instructions to play positively. Fortunately he managed to reach the middle without needing to consult the sat nav and immediately took charge of the game. Some handsome and very powerful shots followed as the Enfield bowlers toiled and the Southgate run rate increased.

Tom reached 50 from 39 balls in 41 minutes (Thanks Rolty for scoring) with an imperious straight 6 that landed in the road, and when he departed for an excellent 63 it was time to light the blue touch paper and cash in for the remaining overs.

Watkins’ second 50 came from 39 balls and he reached his maiden Southgate ton to generous applause from the Enfield members and Southgate balcony. Having been given the instructions to bat through and anchor the innings he had done exactly that.

With Creese out bowled, Hartman departed adjudged LBW first ball and Johnson joined the centurion. After a few scampered 2s Watto was run out going for one two too many. This was to be the first of four run outs, with Faisal carelessly failing to ground his bat, Yoemans sacrificed for the cause and Vinny going for an ambitious second from the last ball of the game after Johnson had been caught at long off with a ball to spare.

On reflection perhaps we could have declared earlier, however we batted 52 because history says you need 275-plus to be safe at Enfield, especially on a wicket as flat as this. Last season they chased down over 279 in 48.2 overs with the dangerous Neil Tilley making a fine 137. With this in mind and a number of their other batsman in good form (their Aussie Hanley averaging 90-plus) this wasn’t a game we wanted to take lightly.

As predicted, Enfield began positively, with Hadgie in particular receiving some severe treatment from Chris Barrell. Tilley played positively hitting both sides of the wicket often off a good line and length. After seven overs and with the score on 39, Ben made the breakthrough with Chris Barrell well caught in the covers by James Watkins.

The skipper entered the attack early on, replacing Hadgie and within two overs the change had worked, with Tilley edging a leg-break to Alvin at slip to make it 59-2. Enfield’s number three was the newly appointed captain Jack Plumb, a talented and technically correct batsman who had anchored their chase under pressure last season. It was important to bowl well at him, and vital that we didn’t allow the partnership between him and Mark Hanley, the Aussie, to progress too far.

Creese replaced Johnson and Faisal came on for Ben, and in many ways this was the make-or-break partnership. Fortunately, with a further 46 runs on the board, Hanley was bowled by Creese (105-3) and with Faisal generating good pace we were able to really go after the Enfield batsman. John Allan fended a short one to Athers at leg slip and a couple of edges behind, well taken by Dunnett, meant we were firmly in the hunt for 10 points with the score on 138-6 and 19 overs to go.

However, once again the overs ticked by and despite our best efforts the batsman shut up shop and wicket didn’t fall. With six overs to go and 100 to win, Captain Plumb (sounds like a Cluedo character) nicked a Johnson flipper (sounds like something entirely more sinister) and we had a chance. Yoemans excellent slower ball lead to ‘love it when a plan comes together’ congratulations from the skipper, but as has been the case now for three consecutive games the last two wickets proved elusive.

Again, however, results went our way with a notable effort from South Hampstead who beat Winchmore Hill in what looked like an extraordinary match After being bowled out for 165 (and that after being 74-9, South Hampstead destroyed the Hill batting and bowled them out for 79.

Despite our failure to turn 4 points into 10 we’re in a good position with important fixtures ahead and fierce competition for places. The division is now exceptionally tight and highly competitive in every match. We have a great opportunity on Saturday against Winchmore Hill to narrow the gap at the top and on current form it should be a great contest. Rob Johnson

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2nd XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 1, second teams
Southgate v Acton – Acton won by 1 wicket. Southgate 0 points

Southgate 197-7 dec  (55 overs) Burwood 62 not out

Acton 199-9 (49.5 overs)

Southgate 2s are just past the turn at Augusta National. A bogey at the 8th was the highlight: one solitary point on the Stableford system. Doubles and trebles, even the odd lost ball and ohbuggeriticantbebotheredonthishole litter the card. The 11th approaches and with it Amen Corner, the make or break section of any Masters hopeful’s round.

The azaleas stand proud in soothing sunlight of late summer, the bright-green playing surface betraying the tricky test ahead. Like the National, the 2s have no female members.Unlike Augusta, our oldest champion sports a beaten brown leather biker’s jacket, with the faint whiff of road kill.

On the range, Bagger Sage Vance scoured the opposition for clues as to their strengths and quickly deduced a late change of venue to the practice ground would help us spin the ball on approach.

A toss for the honour: we lost, but still got to hit first.

Thus, Padraig Robinson and Jamie Micklewilson stood on the tee, 505 yards par 4. Micklewilson has been playing cautiously in the early season, but a renewed focus on his technique came to the conclusion that he should revert to the good ol’ days of Happy Gilmore and slap it once more.

The ball flew fast and, errm, sideways and 50-0 from 10 was sad reflection on our opener bowli… oh, hang on, it was Southgate who got off to a flier!  Unfortunately, a gust of wind struck and blew us slightly off course, Padraig, Bill Dean III and Micklewilson all dismissed in quick succession.

Out strode Tiger Woffinden, back at the home of golf after a self-imposed break for cricket addiction. (Rumour has it there are a number of other clubs he has had brief affairs with). Zack Jonston Graves provided some direction, Tiger the power, for the second shot, a solid 4 iron into the green, landing just off the front edge, a little short of where one would like to be. Fortunately, Fuzzy Bellwood chose this moment to step up with his wedge and attack the pin, rolling up to 3 inches; a superb effort allowing Young Tom Edrich to tap in for a par score of 197-7 in 50 overs.

At the half way house, sustenance was required.  Unfortunately, there were some grumbles from a few players over the quantity of food available. No bad thing as we needed to keep hungry for wickets. Ding Dong, the bell tolls and Dino Daley rushes down the hill. Dan Pyzer-Olazabel was kept busy behind the stumps early on, but Acton failed to capitalise. With Tiger up the hill, at 26-1 from 10, Acton had taken a 5 iron off the tee.

Some loose shots and excellent catching saw both sides feel they had a chance at all times. Dino Daley bowled nine tight overs for no reward, Tiger took 4-65 and Hogan was back on form with 3-40. Young Tom Edrich’s first six over went for a credible 11 runs, before the captain took a gamble.

“You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” You know which philosopher wrote that? Kenny Rogers, in his famous missive, The Gambler. And what, you may ask, does the man voted Favourite Singer of All Time in a 1986 USA Today poll have in common with Southgate 2nd XI? Well, we had to gamble for 10 points and safety in the league.

For those still interested in the golf analogy * Acton effectively took two further shaky 5 irons, but ended 38ft from the 198 run pin.

With four overs to go, 160 runs on the board, 9 wickets down, the Acton number 10 blocked out a Hogan over. 37 required off 3 and here, I held ‘em.  The field came in, Edrich came on, the number 11 went Happy Gilmore on us – 20 scored. Maybe I should’ve folded two balls earlier.

Two overs to go, 18 required. A tight first three balls from Hogan, three men on the leg-side fence when the fourth ball goes flat to one of them and is dropped over the fence. 6 runs up, 10 points down.  We never quite recovered.

Four points would have been easy, but it’s a tough call in the context of the season. In hindsight, Eastcote and Hampstead both failed and are both 20pts ahead of us.  Eastcote this week on the par 3 12th: certainly a birdie chance.

*I am no longer interested in golf.

Peter Alliss aka Pady Robinson

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3rd XI Middlesex County Cricket League, division 3, third teams

Southgate v Ickenham – Ickenham won by 3 wickets. Southgate 0 points

Southgate 219-6 dec (50 overs) Omar Ali 59

Ickenham 220-7 (48.3 overs)

“But how on earth did we lose that game”, I moan, dejectedly.

Let me introduce you to this small, mournful group on the boundary edge. I am slumped, disbelievingly, on the bench in front of the scoreboard, alongside Sam Faruqi and Omair Ali. To our left, Nadeem Mazhar is lighting up and behind us  Hafiz Tayyab is collecting up the numbers.

“It was the first ten overs”, suggests Sam. “They were on top from ball one. After ten overs we were, what, 10-2”. I seem to remember we’d scored 12, but keep quiet. “And they, after ten overs, it must have been about 40-1”, Sam continues. “The openers relieved all the pressure with that start. If we’d done the same, add on those thirty extra runs, I bet they wouldn’t have got close to chasing it down”.

To some degree, of course, he’s right. Our first ten overs were tediously slow. However, our openers, Kunjal and Ram, scored two runs combined, without consolidating in the subsequent overs we’d have risked being bowled out cheaply.

“And besides”, I pipe up, “this was our largest total all season by about 50 runs”! (Further research proves it was the highest by only 31 runs, beating our score of 188-7 against Ealing at the start of the season. And that was in 55 overs. And we lost). No one disputes this so I continue. “Surely we can’t blame how we played in the first half of the game. Omair batted great at number 5, and Sam, you did too. Once Partha, Rob and Richard were out for 30-ish scores, the Ali-Faruqi partnership put us in a great position”. (More research still shows Omair’s 57 was the first half-century in the 3rd XI since Andy Riches on June 5, I think…)

“Perhaps it was our bowling”, I suggest, although, even as I say it, I know it’s not true. We had a six-man bowling attack, four of whom have bowled in the 2nd XI. One of the other two was the top wicket taker for the 3rd XI last year, and the sixth had been catapulted up to this side after a match winning 6-for in the 4s three weeks previously. Although we didn’t all bowl as well as we could (Arvind and I particularly bowled too many ‘four-balls’), we should have had enough strength to bowl a side out. Hafiz and Omair delivered some fantastic balls at the start, Sam beat the bat more times than I can remember and Nadeem took three catches off his own bowling (is that a record, Gunny?). No, the reason for this loss definitely wasn’t our bowling.

So, guessed what direction I’m heading in yet? Wasn’t our batting, wasn’t our bowling… Yep, that’s right, the big F word. Or, more to the point, the C one. Fielding. Catching. Disaster.

A couple of days after the pitch-side match dissection, I received an email from captain RBL. He had put together a spreadsheet for me with both the availabilities and match stats of each player. The names were written in batting order down column A. Columns B to G had the following headings. Sat, Sun, Runs, Figures, Catches, Drops. Beside the plentiful column G, F looked rather vacant and lonely.

Back to the post-match discussion.

“Catches win matches”, an anonymous member quotes the clichéd, but annoyingly accurate saying. “We were lucky; we got the score to 160 odd for 7 even though we had already dropped four or five.”

“I think it was six”, I propose. We count back. Definitely six. RBL’s email verifies this. “They needed over 60 runs off ten overs with just three wickets in hand. Richard was scratching his head wondering how to keep them in the game. And, I know the last two batted well at the end, they played some fantastic shots. But to drop, what, three more during that final, winning partnership.” We look around. More than half of the team dropped a catch. Not many ‘heads held high’.

So, a game with our highest team total of the season, our highest individual total of the season, the most wickets caught and bowled by one bowler, and without doubt the most number of drops by a team in a match, ended in a loss. We look onto Ealing next week where we hope again for lots of runs and lots of wickets. Preferably bowled.

Paul Lassman

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4th XI 1987 League, division 2
Indian Gymkhana v Southgate – Indian Gymkhana won by 5 wickets. Southgate 10 points

Southgate 128 all out  Mark Hughes 47

Indian Gymkhana 129-5

Sadly, the 4th XI forgot to pack a reporter for this game. You must use your imagination.

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Sunday match, 12 July

Southgate XI v Clifton XI – Southgate won by 1 wicket

Clifton 96 all out in 30 overs
Southgate 98-9 in 29 overs

18 July 2010. The third outing for the newly-formed Sunday XI. Previous record: drawn 1, lost 1. Time, we all felt, for a win.

After a Thursday cry-off from the Outlaws, the only remaining available fixture was a rematch against Clifton CC, the team that beat us by 30 runs the previous week. Their captain told me they were considerably stronger. At 10pm on Saturday I had nine players.

We did eventually get 11 and, although they arrived late from watching and playing in the twenty20 at Winchmore Hill (guess who did what), many thanks are due to Lennie and Phil Dunnett for helping out at the last minute. Strength of teams in mind, I negotiated for us to field first and the game begun with only 16 cricketers at the ground – they were still waiting on one car with four of their players. Alex Habberley bowled the first over: ball one thudded into the opener’s pads and ball two clipped the top of his off stump. A great start for us, which didn’t make life easy for the Clifton VII.

Eventually both teams were restored to full strength and both Alex and David Huntingford bowled good lines with the new ball. Alex, especially, bowled as good a spell as Southgate has seen from him this year: eight overs, two for 15, his second wicket caught by Ashley Sivarajah at extra cover. Ashley and Julius Thomson replaced the openers and the two 16-year-olds both hit an uncannily accurate line and length. Ashley was rewarded with three wickets – bowled, caught and bowled and caught by Habberley at square leg, the third wicket in five days for the deadly Habberajah partnership, including one in the midweek game at Hertingfordbury.

70-5 at drinks, yet I had little confidence in our batting and it was agreed we needed the decent number three out before sharing around the bowling. Lennie came on with that instruction, and promptly bowled numbers seven and eight instead. Ashley finished his eight overs, and Callum was brought into the attack. He bowled the number three first ball, “Thanks Len”, I said, as we gathered round to congratulate Callum. “Take a blow”.

90-8 and now I really could risk accelerator Delmore. Instead, Del bowled two overs, five for one, while Callum in a superb spell of swing bowling (his improvement over the past three weeks is astonishing) picked up the final wicket. 96 all out. We went to tea feeling confident.

Phil and I opened. Phil, who needed to leave early, took the attack to the bowlers, scoring through a combination of risky and very good shots. He was eventually stumped in the eighth over for 35 with the score on about 50. Lennie came in at three and, completely unintentionally of course, couldn’t get any of the strike. Although I didn’t beat Martyn Kennedy’s record of protecting Mr Stokes from 36 consecutive balls, I think we later worked out that when I was eventually bowled by a good yorker for 23, I had faced 21 of 24 balls in the partnership.

Sunil, who bowled me, delivered a very heavy ball and proved too quick for Len, Shiv-Raj (who had kept wicket admirably in the first innings) and Ashley Sivarajah. Mike Lassman defended well for a bit before becoming Sunil’s fifth victim. All bowled. Julius Thomson got a faint nick on an away swinger and Alex Habberley was then bowled by one that darted back. Through a combination of good bowling and poor shots we had collapsed from 50-0 to 78-8. With just David, Callum and Delmore left, 19 runs seemed a sizeable target.

David batted superbly. When he went in, Sunil had three overs remaining and needed to be seen out of the attack. Against bowling that was fast and swinging in, Dave watched every ball onto his bat and played it back to the bowler. After one of the three overs, Sunil remarked to me at square leg, “I just keep bowing it onto his bat”. After adding admirable support, Callum eventually fell with the score – through a combination of wides and scampered byes – up to 93-9. David on strike. Delmore at the other end. David blocked the first four. The fifth ball was played through mid-on and they ran a single, leaving Delmore one ball to survive.

Or at least ‘survive’ was how everyone else saw it. Delmore, of course, is not affected by pressure like us mortals. He knows no fear. No, this one ball was, after his fourth-team heroics the previous week, simply an opportunity to cement his position as Southgate’s primary finisher. As the bowler released, Delmore’s back foot went across to off stump. His bat rose high – a backlift Lara himself would have been proud of – and swung back down with timing that ensured that crisp, sweet sound, connecting with immense power and sending the red leather flying, yes flying, over square leg with one, two bounces to the boundary. 98-9. For a moment, albeit brief, there was silence.

For those of you who read Doug Gordon’s report a few weeks ago and are now searching the website for the true ending, I assure you, you’ve already read it. OK, perhaps it was six bounces not two, but I’m sure a combination of bad memory, different interpretation and artistic licence ensure no report is entirely accurate. Whatever the details this much is true: Delmore hit the winning four, I had my first victory as captain, and David Huntingford scored the world’s best ever one not out.

Paul Lassman

Want to see Delmore’s winning four? Here’s a reconstruction of that fatal blow

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Middlesex T20 Cup, 12 July

Winchmore Hill v Southgate – Southgate won by 13 runs

Southgate 165-8 (20) Robinson 33 (21 balls, two sixes), Hadgie 30 (22 balls)
Winchmore Hill 152-9 (20) Crease three wickets and three catches

Twenty20 has undoubtedly captured the imagination of everyone from international cricket downwards and there’s a growing feeling that T20s are the future of Sunday cricket and the strength of the Southgate XI that turned up bright and breezy last Sunday would back this up.

My record as a Twenty20 captain against Winchmore Hill wasn’t good” played two, and lost two. To make matters worse in the first game we’d managed to start the game with 12 men on the field after an administrative error, and in the second game traffic problems meant we’d taken the field with seven.

Starting at 11am with 11 we won the toss and batted first. As Tarters tucked into a bacon sandwich, produced on what he described as an ‘commercial griddle’, Hadgie and Alvin opened up, taking good advantage of the powerplay overs with some lovely shots all around the wicket.

Creese played well at three and Hartman at four hit some fine boundaries, but a good spell from Dan Amedee pegged us back. Johnson at five and T20 specialist Paddy Robinson batted well pinching singles and running hard.

With overs running out, Robinson decided it was time to administer some long handle down the ground and so he did, hitting his second and third adult sixes into the road. Those who backed his horse named ‘one adult six’ will understand the significance of these hefty blows.

Winchmore Captain Jim Gatting came back into the attack as an off-spinner and bowled Jonners, Robinson followed two runs later for a sterling 33 in 21 balls and despite a strong lower order, I was disappointed with the final total of 165, believing it to be 15 light of what could have been. We actually only scored at five an over for the last two overs, which isn’t good enough. At half time I felt this may prove to be a difficult score to defend, however the boys were keen and knew what was required to win the game.

For T20 this season we’ve had a clear game plan, which has been to open with spinners in the powerplay and bowl as much slow stuff as possible. This, backed up with excellent fielding and catching, and you have always have a chance. After a loose opening over from Rob, Creese made a big impact in the game, bowling really well to pick up an early wicket and then taking a blinder in the deep off Rob. With danger man Gatting at the wicket it was a vital time and a stupendous caught and bowled from Matt made a massive breakthrough.

Hadgie in left arm spin mode bowled four very good overs taking 1-22, as did Paddy with his excellent off-spin taking 1-29 from the Pavilion end. Tom Edrich took a blinder at cow corner which clipped the telephone wires on the way down and generally the standard of fielding was very good.

With the Hill behind the rate and time running out it was make or break time and enter Andrew Barrell, who came to the party with 45 in 19 balls with four big sixes. As pressure levels rose it was crunch time and enter Omair Ali to bowl the 19th over of the match. And what a magnificent over it was, with two wickets for eight runs – surely now the game was ours.

It was Adam Vinson to bowl the final over, with the batsman hitting against the wind to the long boundary. The first ball was hit for 6, surely they couldn’t win it from here? No they couldn’t, as Adam bowled a good over and picked up the danger man Barrell as a very high catch went out to Creese in the deep, who literally said thank you very much as it landed in his safe hands.

Victory was our and it was a great team performance with everyone contributing. We now go to play the Middlesex Finals day on 15 of August at Ealing Cricket Club, the opposition teams will be Ealing, Finchley and Stanmore.

Please come and support us!

Rob Johnson

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The Hertingfordbury match, 14 July

Ye Olde Tale of the Battle of Hertingfordbury

“Pray, let me tell you of a great battle,

One that happened not too long ago.

With Captain Doug Gordon and his merry men;

A team of youth, age and beauty

Setting out to complete a challenge for gold.

The weather forecast wasn’t promising for the second leg of this annual fixture in the Southgate calendar: rain, all day. But never fear, dear readers, the merry band of Southgate cricketers headed out from all over London, gathering in a clearing in the woods of deepest, darkest Hertfordshire at the picturesque ground in the village of Hertingfordbury. Men of all shapes, sizes, ages, and skill were united under the purple and black of Southgate. Confidently, Doug “Robin Hood” Gordon, captain of the merry men, tossed up, and inserted the opposition to bat. Team talk and huddle over, we strode out onto the dry outfield (and surprisingly green and grassy square – something not seen at Southgate for many years).

But as Omair “where are my trousers” Ali was about to bowl the first ball, the heavens opened. For about ten minutes. Gloom and depression was about to set in when a weather scout fired back an arrow to the merry men. Attached to it was a letter that read ‘The rain will stop soon, the clouds are clearing’. The news was greeted with great cheers and the match soon began under the supervision of umpires Bob Cole and Geoff Blackmore.

With much sawdust applied, Omair and Alex Habberley opened the attack. Omair bowled with his usual speed and aggression, but perhaps lacked a little in control, with no balls being the order of the day. Alex was unlucky not to get more wickets and to concede runs. In part this was due to the invention of a new form of the long barrier by Ian Henley, the Friar Tuck of our gang. Fielding, as usual, at mid-on, Friar Ian managed to collapse in stages, creating a long, horizontal barrier with his body, and thus allowing the ball to bounce over him – although Friar Ian was quick to point out that the ball nearly “smacked him in the kisser”. Note to Ricky: don’t teach this technique to colts under the age of 18, it requires a seasoned professional’s delicate touch.

Cue Tommy “saviour of the economy” Yeomans and Adam “I’ve only bowled offspin for three weeks” Vinson. Tom’s swinging left arm medium pace was slightly off-colour. Having spent too long in the first XI, the drop in standard may have distracted him. Vinny, on the other hand, was full of life. His exuberance in the field was only the prelude to his sprightly athletic bowling. Cue a flurry of wickets at his end, with catches from Alex Habberley, Ashley Sivirajah, and Doug “Robin Hood” Gordon –this one courtesy of the Potters Bar team behind the stumps, as keeper Dan Pyzer-Knapp parried the catch out of respect to his captain. As well as the catches, two of  Hertingfordbury’s men were bowled, and one (and only the Sheriff of Hertingfordbury knows why he was batting at 5) the plumbest of plum LBWs seen on a cricket field.

Paul Lassman was used at the other end and was hit rather too much by the oppo’s batsmen. His bowling wasn’t bad, but they were too strong and simply went over the top. But there were promising signs from the young pretender to Len Stokes’ spin crown.

Bar the horizontal long barrier, it has to be said that the merry men fielded very well indeed. As always, Phil Dunnett and Tom Yeomans were the most agile, but, rolling back the years (and wearing shin pads for safety) Ricky Gunn ran after everything and anything, including the positions he was meant to be standing in when he realised he was in fact on the wrong side of the pitch.

During all of this, Hertingfordbury reached 214-7 in 40 overs. And then the rains came, prompting a swift declaration from the Sheriff. And God, did the rain come. The weather scout looked anxiously towards the horizon, face into the wind and rain, while we enjoyed a lovely tea, including some delicious scones with jam, clotted cream, and fresh strawberries. As the plates were being cleared away, the weather scout fired his second arrow of the day. His message read “I can see clearly now the rain has gone” and thus played began yet again.

Robin Hood-Gordon and Ricky Gunn
Took guard in the forest
Laughin’ back and forth
At what the other’ne has to say .
Reminiscin’, This-’n'-thattin’
Havin’ such a good time
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day

This merriment didn’t last long, however, as Doug fell quickly without troubling the scorer (Geoff Burton – thank you for your brilliant efforts yet again!). Tom joined Ricky at the crease, and then Ricky, after some smashing drives, chipped it to cover just as he was getting going. This brought together Tom and Phil in what proved to be a brilliant and fantastic partnership.

Tom played out of his skin. For someone apparently short of runs this season, he batted with great technical skill and determination. Mixing this with some powerful strokes, including a big six into the road and on to Ian Henley’s car roof, Tom sailed past 50, 60, 70, 80, and then 90 with ease, never looking troubled. Phil played a brilliant supporting role. In the home fixture Squire Phil hit a ton, but this time he had to settle for 64 not out as Tom struck a brilliant century.

And it was with the scores level that the rain returned. One run to win. The Sheriff’s men wanting to retreat to the pub with honour still intact – and a draw. Tom, having none of it, drove beautifully, edging the ball to the keeper ending his great innings.

Ashley, having sat on the boundary telling us that there were in fact over 1 billion cricket bats in the world and many other facts we had wrong, with his pads on for about 30 overs, suffering from pad rash, strode (well, took small nervous steps) to the wicket hoping to see us home. Cue three defensive strokes as the rain threatened. Over. Phil to face. The battle for Hertingfordbury must end soon, thought Robin Hood-Gordon. Short ball first up. Huge swing by Phil. Huge miss. Thankfully, he top-edged the next ball for four just over the slip’s agonising outstretched hand.

And thus ends the tale of the battle of Hertingfordbury.

Robin Hood-Gordon and his merry men

Fighting for Southgate, giving it everything,

Completed the double,

And went to the pub

It was a shame that Maid Marion didn’t show up as invited….. oh well, there’s always next year!

Match facts:

Hertingfordbury 214-7 (40 overs) Vinson 6 wickets, Henley – creator of the horizontal long barrier, soon to be seen in all good cricket manuals

Southgate 216-3 (32 overs) Yeomans 108(ish?), Dunnett 64*

“Ye Olde Tale of the Battle of Hertingfordbuy” as told by Dan Pyzer-Knapp

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And finally

Well done Delmore Walters, the unsung hero of Southgate. He waits patiently week in, week out for a game and when he gets the chance to shine he takes it by the scruff of the neck, gives it a shake and wins the match. Last week he spanked a four to secure victory for the 4s, this week he clubbed another boundary to win the game for the Sunday XI. Man of the moment, I give you Delmore the Destroyer.

Del’s the one on the right giving advice to Phill Simmons