Bugle 07 – match reports from 23 June

1st XI

Southgate v Ealing

Ealing won by 111 runs

Ealing 246-7 (51 overs)

Southgate 135 all out (50 overs)

J Jouning 74

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2nd XI

Harrow Town v Southgate

Harrow Town won by 5 wickets

Southgate 160 all out (48 overs)

Harrow Town 161-5 (46.2 overs)

Harrow Town 2nd XI are still bottom of the league. They are a poor side, and on Saturday they were good enough to beat us. It is tempting to end the match report there, but given that most reports you will read this week will concern where it all went wrong for Woy Hodgson and his England team, it seems wrong to rob you of a rare alternative. Albeit an equally depressing one.

Captain Carr lost the toss and we were asked to bat first. The wicket played a lot better than it looked, so the collapse of the top order was inexcusable. M Stratten, playing his last match for Southgate this season (he will be missed), top scored with 34, A Saeed and O Ali each made 26 but nobody else made it past 20. It was a lacklustre performance. I don’t think anyone will believe they were beaten by a delivery that they could do nothing about, indeed there was a plethora of pretty awful shots and dismissals. One of their bowlers picked up 5 wickets for just 46 runs in his 16 overs.

Defending a little over 3 runs per over, it was imperative that we got off to a tight start and took early wickets, so when S Kalagara (19-4-60-2) returned a wicket maiden in his first over, it was a perfect start. Kalagara has been excellent in recent weeks, and he continued this form on Saturday. His new-ball partner was the returning O Ali (17-5-38-1) who after a few overs of cobweb removal returned to his usual self – the highlight being a classic inswinger that clean bowled Harrow Town’s left-handed opener. Two useful direct hit run outs from M Joseph and P Robinson meant that by the time Harrow Town were half way to their target, they were 5 down and the required run rate had risen to over 4. The other two bowlers available to the captain were himself (5.2-1-32-0) and A Quiyum (5-2-16-0). If you take into account the maidens from those sets of figures you will see how Harrow Town’s numbers 4 and 7 took advantage when Ali and Kalagara were rested. It did feel as though our valiant opening bowlers were shouldering a workload heavy enough to be detrimental. The fielding was passable, although it did suffer when it seemed as though defeat was inevitable. When the winning single was taken courtesy of a misfield by an understandably exhausted opening bowler, it felt like a fitting conclusion to a regrettable affair.

Assuming we still have ambitions to get promoted, Saturday’s efforts are simply not good enough. Our batting lineup was weaker than in previous weeks and we are desperately missing a spinner, but you can bemoan poor availability until you are blue in the face. If people can’t play you can’t make them. What we can do is make more of an effort with our preparations. We are consistently starting a warm up with less than half of the side present, and everyone who played on Saturday must feel like they have something to work on in training, so I expect to see good numbers of 2nd XI players on the coming Tuesday nights. Max Joseph

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3rd XI

Ealing v Southgate

Match drawn

Ealing 226-9 dec (50 overs)

S Faruqi  4-34

Southgate 171-8 (50 overs)

If a tree falls in a wood when no one’s around to hear it, does it make a noise?

Indeed, the answer to this old and most problematic question is as seemingly evasive as a win for the 3s at the moment.  This was another Saturday of “oh so close yet oh so far”.

Winning the toss gave captain Carter a re-found faith in the laws of statistics (finally a head in six attempts!) and he duly put the oppo in, bored of slugging it out with the bat first up.

Some early wickets and dodgy batting by a side who’d been knocked over for 60-odd against Uxbridge not long since, inspired even more confidence in the Southgate ranks.  Their batting line-up seemed shaky at best, with their number four asking Omar behind the stumps for tips on how to hit the ball, how to hold the bat and whether the bird-dropping-splattered pitch affected the ball’s bounce.

This may have all seemed a dream to Roy Marett who, drugged up to the nines with painkillers and under strict instructions to ‘take it easy’, got through 17 overs straight (for just 47 runs) with Mike and Sam operating the other end, restricting the opposition nicely.

But all was due to change, as we are so accustomed to discovering this season, with the appearance of a rather handy number six.  Supported by a couple of youngsters, he cruised to a confident hundred before eventually succumbing to Ravi’s darting deliveries.  Sam and Ravi then mopped up most of the tail and they ended up on 226-8, a very chase-able score.

Particular credit goes to the Dias brothers in the field for a fine performance both in the circle and in the deep, really setting the standard and showing the promise of youth coming through.

After a pretty satisfying picnic lunch (7/10), the Trees went into bat.

We had a decent start, despite losing a couple of wickets and were well ahead of the rate at 25 with the score at about 120-2.  Adam Jouning and Vernon Dias played nicely for 36 and 31 respectively which put us into this commanding position but unfortunately, were not supported by the middle order.  Five through eight were quickly skittled to leave us in a very precarious spot with eight down and 15 overs to bat.

In came the finishing maestros Ravi Desai and Roy Marett who guided us to a point and some sort of dignified end to a match full of outspoken wicket keepers (not ours), poor banter (some of it ours) and missed opportunities (most definitely ours). Mike Carter

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4th XI

Southgate v MTSCC

MTSCC won by 6 wickets

Southgate 154 all out

MTSCC 159 for 4

Last Saturday marked the end of my exile from cricket, and turning up at the Walker 20 minutes late was hardly a good start. As it turns out however, I was earlier than half the team, which is a good and a bad thing. When the team sheet on the website reads 11 players, you always have to take it with a table spoon of salt with the 4th XI, and sure enough two players were missing at the start of play. A damp, uncovered pitch was soft and promised for some unpredictable bounce and the outfield made Bill Bailey’s hair look tidy. Scatterings of leaves, mud, branches and probably small children who’d managed to get lost in there meant that there would be a lot of running for our shallow batting order. It was an important toss to win for Alex, and predictably the opposition skipper called it correctly. Southgate first to bat then.

I don’t have a scorebook to hand, so this is all going to be from memory, so please excuse any errors. Sal and Anton opened, and some early boundaries looked promising, as big hitting from Sal and careful shot selection from Anton guided us through the first few overs. Then disaster struck as Sal’s bat cracked after a few decades of good service it seemed, and he was immediately caught at slip next ball. In walked the out of form, unfit slogger. Surprisingly, just one aerial shot was played in the next half an hour, as Anton and I negotiated a range of vegetable pies (many of the oppo were vegetarian), tennis balls and shooters, with the odd peach from a rather pacey youth. The 2nd wicket partnership exceeded expectations as Southgate looked strong on 90 odd for the loss of 1 after 28 overs. Finally, a loss of concentration brought a head in the air heave from yours truly, spooning an easy catch to mid off, ending an innings of 35 and a stand of over 60 with Anton.

Will and Julius accompanied Anton for a few more overs, however when they fell Southgate looked on the verge of collapse. Anton pushed through to a well made 50 on a difficult track but eventually was caught for 67 as the lower order gave their wickets away cheaply. Resistance from Niroosh who stuck in for a few overs was futile and eventually the Southgate skipper, bringing up the rear, was dismissed for a golden blob to a sharp yorker.

154 was the target to defend, and with no less than 6 pace bowlers in the side, this could’ve been our chance to redeem a lacklustre batting performance. However on a slow track, pace off the ball was definitely the way to go and without any spinners or slower bowlers in the team (for once) it looked to be another struggle. Thanks to Rohan Silva, which came in at late notice to provide us with an extra fielder and his pace bowling. Spirits were high, and edges were flying all over the place, particularly through gully. It was only a matter of time when one came, and eventually Alex found a thick edge, but the poor fielder at point lost sight of the ball in the trees and passed up a half chance (read: I dropped a sitter). However Alex, fuelled by displeasure, struck back with a great delivery that took out the middle stump. Julius held a good chance at cover point to give Niroosh a well deserved wicket for some tight bowling, and at drinks we looked ready to take advantage of a seemingly weak middle order.

However this was not to be. Southgate bowlers toiled away but to no avail as some IPL wides, and some tired bowling accounted for MTSCC’s highest scorer: extras. At least 40 were conceeded, and in a total of 150 that was partially the reason we were unable to put up a better fight. Of note is Will Temple’s wicket keeping, surely saving 30 runs, byes and wides behind the stumps which was invaluable to the team’s mentality.

Hopefully this weekend will show up some better batting and bowling efforts, as Southgate look to topple Brentham at home. Shiv-Raj Sharma


Mini Bugle – results from 23 June

1st XI

Southgate v Ealing

Ealing won by 111 runs

Ealing 246-7 (51 overs)

Southgate 135 all out (50 overs)

J Jouning 74

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2nd XI

Harrow Town v Southgate

Harrow Town won by 5 wickets

Southgate 160 all out (48 overs)

Harrow Town 161-5 (46.2 overs)

Harrow Town 2nd XI are still bottom of the league. They are a poor side, and on Saturday they were good enough to beat us. It is tempting to end the match report there, but given that most reports you will read this week will concern where it all went wrong for Woy Hodgson and his England team, it seems wrong to rob you of a rare alternative. Albeit an equally depressing one.

Captain Carr lost the toss and we were asked to bat on a horrible looking strip that looked right at home in the cesspit surroundings that constitute Harrow Town Sports Club. (For those that are interested I am indeed very bitter, but this description cannot be used as evidence of that fact, given that this was my assessment of the scenes before a ball had been bowled). Against, in my view, the poorest bowling attack that we have seen, and on a wicket that played a lot better than it looked, the collapse of the top order was inexcusable. M Stratten, playing his last match for Southgate this season (he will be missed), top scored with 34, A Saeed and O Ali each made 26 but nobody else made it past 20. It was a lacklustre performance. I don’t think anyone will believe they were beaten by a delivery that they could do nothing about, indeed there was a plethora of pretty awful shots and dismissals. A bowler who we nicknamed “the Asian Sage” – which if anything is harsh on Sage – picked up 5 wickets for just 46 runs in his 16 overs.

Defending a little over 3 runs per over, it was imperative that we got off to a tight start and took early wickets, so when S Kalagara (19-4-60-2) returned a wicket maiden in his first over, it was a perfect start. Kalagara has been excellent in recent weeks, and he continued this form on Saturday. His new-ball partner was the returning O Ali (17-5-38-1) who after a few overs of cobweb removal returned to his usual self – the highlight being a classic inswinger that clean bowled Harrow Town’s left-handed opener. Two useful direct hit run outs from M Joseph and P Robinson meant that by the time Harrow Town were half way to their target, they were 5 down and the required run rate had risen to over 4. The other two bowlers available to the captain were himself (5.2-1-32-0) and A Quiyum (5-2-16-0). If you take into account the maidens from those sets of figures you will see how Harrow Town’s numbers 4 and 7 took advantage when Ali and Kalagara were rested. It did feel as though our valiant opening bowlers were shouldering a workload heavy enough to be detrimental. The fielding was passable, although it did suffer when it seemed as though defeat was inevitable. When the winning single was taken courtesy of a misfield by an understandably exhausted opening bowler, it felt like a fitting conclusion to a regrettable affair.

Assuming we still have ambitions to get promoted, Saturday’s efforts are simply not good enough. Our batting lineup was weaker than in previous weeks and we are desperately missing a spinner, but you can bemoan poor availability until you are blue in the face. If people can’t play you can’t make them. What we can do is make more of an effort with our preparations. We are consistently starting a warm up with less than half of the side present, and everyone who played on Saturday must feel like they have something to work on in training, so I expect to see good numbers of 2nd XI players on the coming Tuesday nights. Max Joseph

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3rd XI

Ealing v Southgate

Match drawn

Ealing 226-9 dec (50 overs)

Southgate 171-8 (50 overs)

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4th XI

Southgate v MTSCC

MTSCC won by 6 wickets

Southgate 154 all out

MTSCC 159 for 4

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match reports to ronhewit@gmail.com by stumps on Wednesday

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Your nominations for Players of the Week, Muppet of the Week and Champagne Moment of the Week in the comments box below please

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Bugle 06 – Saturday 16 June


A yummy mummy just like this lady here gives Trees skipper Rob Johnson the benefit of her wide sign-language vocabulary

1st XI

Yummy mummy delays arrival of 1st XI skipper – all the juicy details

How to avoid reversing a Transit van down a car-lined suburban street

Road rage – urban myth or harsh reality of life in leafy NW6?

Gratuitous chess metaphor!

Bunting Australian tees off

Is it a piece of fish or part of a chicken? Profound lunch-break discussion ensues

How to play cricket in the dark – and win (or at least draw)

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Hampstead v Southgate

match drawn

Hampstead 307-2 dec (60 overs)

Southgate 210-7 (60 overs)

Alvin Durgacharan 77

The day started badly on arrival at Hampstead’s Lymington Road ground. Parking restrictions meant there was very little scope for parking especially if, like the skipper, you were driving a white Transit van. Given that the commute from Kilburn is walkable, it was a ludicrous decision to drive from the skipper and one that won’t be made again.

An increasingly exasperated Johnson, Jouning and Hadgie drove around the leafy back streets of NW6 looking for a place to park, but by the time Jouners spotted  a space the skipper was nowhere to be seen, having become embroiled in a road rage situation with a mother of three.

Just to be clear, reversing a long wheelbase Ford Transit without the benefit of a rear view mirror is not easy, even with the benefit of parking sensors. As such, when faced with the not uncommon situation where two vehicles are unable to pass each other on a narrow backstreet with parked cars on either side, it seemed reasonable to me to expect the lady in the 4×4 to pull into the adjacent gap. Perhaps she thought I was one of those angry white van men with obligatory Red Top resting on the dashboard and ‘I wish my missus was this dirty’ daubed across the back door.

Had she taken a closer look she would have realised that she was face to face with a brand-new Ford Transit containing only a cricket bag and an Oat So Simple porridge pot that I was hoping to consume in lieu of breakfast on arrival at the ground.

However, despite my polite requests the lady wasn’t going to move an inch and implored with a combination of hand gestures and mouthing instructions that I move back. There was no way I was going to reverse 100 yards and we had a total stalemate. I went around the wicket but she kicked them away. Time to dig in.

The lady became more animated with her gesturing and mouthing, but I remained surprisingly composed (honestly, I barely raised an eyebrow) and politely  asked her to move. Upon receiving something akin to the hand signal from the late 80s Nescafe Gold Blend advert you may well have thought the gloves would have come off. However, given the now ridiculous time this was taking, I decided to abandon all hope of getting to Hampstead for the warm up or my porridge and decided to dig in deeper by avoiding eye contact with the lady. This reminded me of the time we gave Paul Atherley from South Hampstead the silent treatment, and it really wound her up something chronic. She ramped things up with that old favourite the Churchill V for victory hand gesture (perhaps she was a Hampstead Cricket Club supporter expecting an easy 10 points?).

It was a battle of wills but neither of us was giving an inch. I was now in for the long haul and could see her resolve breaking as, with significant shouting (I could now hear her even though her window was closed) she pulled neatly into the available space.

Her Bishop (a BMW, I think) to H3 allowed my Pawn (Ford Transit) to advance to G3 leaving her completed trapped until I continued on my way. I decided at this point it might be nice to grind to a halt and explain in detail my reasoning for not reversing. I re-marked my guard, checked the wing mirror to ensure I wasn’t blocking the road and applied the handbrake. Casually leaning out of the window, I beckoned for her to reciprocate so we could chat.

Unfortunately it looked like she and her three teenage-ish children were late for an occasion of some sort and were in no mood to converse, preferring to scream profanity from the safety of her seat. I stayed on the back foot and watched a few fly past my nose before contemplating my next move.

As the children began to beg for salvation and one of them started welling up I felt a pang of guilt, followed by the more pressing feeling that I should be trying to find a parking space. So I decided to draw a line through this, leave a straight one and drove off, composure and moral high ground arguably intact.

However, still blissfully unaware of the new car-parking option at the ground, I opted to drive further west and further away from the ground until I arrived exactly where I’d started in Kilburn. I promptly parked and made a hasty return to the ground on the Jubilee line.

With Hampstead reeling from an audacious and despicable valuables heist the week before, security was tight and I needed the assistance of several tennis mums to get into the complex, but I’d made it and arrived to see the brave boys of Southgate going through their paces on the outfield.

It was a good toss to win and I promptly inserted as Creese arrived from the East moments after Matt Floyd, who’d managed to present an edition of Cricket AM as his warm up.

Lunch was also a closely guarded secret, with several team members believing their mid-match sustenance to be fish and chips when it was clearly chicken. This embarrassing lack of judgement was most evident from T Edrich who actually still thought it was fish after he’d eaten all of it. Perhaps it’s worth investigating whether the University of Kent offers a food identification module next term.

The Red Arrows put in an appearance and the sight screens fell over a number of times, but otherwise it was pretty uneventful stuff and as a man in a hi-vis pink sweatshirt looked on from the balcony the Hampstead batsman compiled a thoroughly efficient 307/2 in 60 overs, which I was happy with having stuck them in.

Opener Steve Clark carried his bat for 128 and their Aussie captain Mark Divin hit a run-a-ball 121 with 9 DLFs. Clark, formerly of the mighty Doncaster Town CC among several other clubs, followed on from two scores of 42 and 42 not out to finish with an average of 212 against us in three knocks. Not bad. Despite the double hundred partnership we retained our composure reasonably well and all of the bowlers tried their best on a wicket offering zero assistance for anyone.

Having lost quick early wickets two weeks ago, we started with much greater resolve this time round with an excellent opening stand of 85 from JJ and AKD.

The pink sweatshirt turned out to be none other than Ollie Rayner of Middlesex CCC, who is our county representative this season and a thoroughly nice bloke, who had popped down with his team mate Tom Smith of Hampstead and Middlesex CCC. It was good of him to introduce himself to all of the lads and apologise sincerely for playing so well that he’s looking like a permanent fixture in the Middlesex first XI. Best of luck to Ollie for the rest of the season!

Tea included mini pork pies, an array of sandwiches and fruit.

Yeomanator at three looked top class for 25 and was victim to a remarkably fast stumping and with Alvin out on the pull for a classy 77 the complexion of our ‘chase’ changed somewhat.

Creese dug in deep and made room for Johnson, who survived two convincing lbw shouts on 0. Hadgie had just nipped out lbw for a quick duck, so with 17 overs to play and gloomy light it was game on for the Hampstead XI who had bowled us out for less than 100 a fortnight ago.

Using the road-rage incident as inspiration, Creese and Johnson parked up for half an hour or so before Creese fell to the third and least convincing lbw shout.

Dunnett and then Edrich dug in with the captain, but with three overs left the crafty Divin found the edge again and it was left to Faisal and Edrich to batten down any remaining hatches, thus achieving our first point of the season.

Post-match beers at Hampstead really are incredibly cheap and we stayed to listened to Jim the Chairman present man of the day to Mark Divin and a match report from each skipper, a nice touch. Had we not still been present I think the 1st XI review may have been a bit more colourful as they were clearly disappointed to drop points having scored 300-plus. In hindsight a more attacking declaration may have clinched it for them, but we’d played well enough to bat for 60 and get over 200 in near darkness at the end. Rob “White Van Man” Johnson

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Darts - like cricket but with added moisture

2nd XI

Southgate v Wembley

match drawn

Southgate 180-8 (55 overs)

M Stratton 67

Wembley 151-8 (45 overs)

Suresh Kaligara 5-75

Great works of literature are not my forte, so with no fear of challenging the contenders for this year’s Scribbler Award, here are the simple details of Saturday’s game.

In the dressing room immediately after the game, there was a huge sense of frustration and disappointment at finishing with 1 point when 4 were in the bag all the way to the last ball and 10 could easily have been secured. Eight dropped catches (in fairness, of varying degrees of difficulty) was the reason but perhaps rather than dwelling on a negative, we should look at all the positives and take them into next week’s game.

  • Wembley II’s are a good side who will take points off most teams at this level and we were more than a match for them in all departments.
  • Despite being stuck in on a tricky pitch, the decent new ball attack was seen off, (albeit rather slowly) and a reasonable platform laid.
  • We recovered well from a mini collapse to 60-5 and Matt (67) and Josh (22) showed determination and skill in adding 60 for the 6th wicket.
  • Despite their off spinner tying up one end, we managed to keep the scoreboard ticking. His action was somewhat unconventional and as Max commented it brought a whole new meaning to the expression ‘bowling darts’.
  • An Abdul cameo towards the end of the innings saw us to a defendable and decent total of 180-9 off 55 overs. Or should that be ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEEEEEEE for 9!
  • The intensity of the fielding for the first 30 overs was great. No heads went down even when catches did.
  • The darts related chat when their aforementioned off spinner (I can’t find large enough inverted commas for that description) opened the batting, was hilarious and certainly lead to his early demise.
  • Suresh and Abdul gave it everything. Suresh in particular raced  manfully up the hill, unchanged for 23 overs, finishing with 5-73. Abdul was unlucky to finish wicketless from his 16-over effort.

We’re in third place in the league, 3 points behind Wembley and 19 behind Hornsey. We’re at bottom of the league Harrow Town next week. Stay positive. Jeremy Dangerfield

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Highgate employ wringer to force victory against the 3s

3rd XI

Southgate v Highgate

Highgate won by 4 wickets

Southgate 146 all out (54.2 overs)

Highgate 147-6 (44.4 overs)

A strong 3s side met with confidence a Highgate team who’d squeezed a victory out of us by just 2 wickets, two weeks ago.  Confidence was high and all were determined to get a mark in the wins column by the end of the day.

A damp, uncovered wicket made it a toss to win and, of course, the dastardly tails came up for the opposition captain and in to 146.

Inconsistent bounce and the ball coming on at a snail’s pace, meant runs were few and far between.  After some scraping around by the openers, Kennedy and Devkamalth joined at the wicket for the highest partnership of the innings, guiding us to the ton before the likes of Decrescenzo, Carter and Faruqi forced the total up to near-enough 150.

Spicy chicken wings, chips and chocolate cake kept us satisfied at the break and we went out to field, sure of defending our total on a pitch resembling a particularly damp quagmire.

Keeping things tight were openers Marett and Carter, the former keeping up his catch tally with a fine caught & bowled to open his wicket account for the season.   Despite not conceding many runs, the Trees were hungry for wickets and on came newly promoted Ravi Desai fresh from the 4s.  Ravi’s first four overs duly delivered with a double wicket maiden, followed by a maiden, another wicket maiden and a final maiden leaving Highgate reeling on 50-odd for 4.

With confidence high, in came the number six and in came the field.  Playing himself in for a few overs, we were blissfully unaware of what was to come.  Another wicket or so and, despite leaking a few runs, 80 runs were still required from the final ten overs.

And of course, as it has been all season to date, the onslaught began.  Describing himself as a bowling all-rounder (leaving out the ex-Notts youth player bit… yeah, sigh…) the number six launched the ball to all parts with a barrage of sixes that took Highgate to within touching distance with two overs to go.  Despite some good death bowling by Munawar and Carter, only one run was needed off the final over.  Four balls in and it was tip-and-run time.  Sadly, there were no heroics, no happy endings and once more, just one ringer between us and a victory (94* out of 147).

However, to end on a positive, we have now played twice the two teams relegated from the division above and a strong Uxbridge side who narrowly missed out on promotion last season.  There are many games to go and I’m confident that if we continue our fine bowling and fielding performances and squeeze out a few more runs from the batsmen, we’ll be more the competitive.

That first win is just around the corner… Mike Carter

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Bugle photographer arrives at the ground at 3.53pm, just minutes after the game ended

4th XI

Alexandra Palace v Southgate

Alexandra Palace won by 6 wickets

Southgate 75 all out

Rohan Silva 20-odd, if not more

Hewit 3*

Alexandra Palace 76 for 4

Rohan Silva 2 for not many

The nine men and boys of the 4th XI assembled on a foreign field in East Barnet, diminished by that deadly combination of cry-offs, other commitments and indifference. We weren’t optimistic of getting a result – Walters, Hewit and Habberley have terrorised many a batting line up, but rare is the occasion when that trio have struck fear into the opposition’s bowlers. Especially when they’re batting at seven, eight and nine respectively.

The first task was to win the toss and bat as no one fancied chasing leather for 50 overs and Commander Habberley duly obliged. That was as good as it got however as AP, operating with two left-arm seamers, proceeded to carve their way through the top and middle order. Our stand-out batsman was Rohan Silva who thumped a few glorious boundaries on his way to the top score of 20-something. (Apologies for the lack of detail here – even though your correspondent had ample time to digest the minutia of the scorecard he failed.)

The other batting highlight was Hewit’s magnificent, defiant 3 not out in his first competitive outing since the infamous Battle of the Back Pitch against Edmonton in 2011. You remember, the one where Lenny went awol, a small civil war erupted and we drew the worst-tempered game since records began. Anyway, almost 12 months on Hewit played a characteristically cultured innings that was chanceless and controlled and it allowed the Trees to get to the psychologically important mark of 75. Given that AP had collapsed in a smelly heap chasing less than that against us a couple of weeks earlier we had hope. Not much hope but just a bit.

Silva senior and son Calumn opened the bowling as Commander Habberley opted to have his bowlers work to a plan of short, fiery bursts and quick rotation. We got four wickets courtesy of Silva (2), Habberley and Walters and there was just a sniff of a hint of the beginning of a mild case of panic in the AP ranks, but really the result was never in doubt. Then we had tea. Neville Cardus

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Sausage baguettes inspire Trees to cup triumph

Sunday Cup Triumph

Middlesex League Cup 2nd Round

Acton 180/8 (45)

Southgate 181/8 (44.4)

Carmi Le Roux 53

Southgate clinched a thrilling victory in the Middlesex League Cup 2nd round tie against Acton at the Walker. With the skipper making his way to the game late having taken the Enterprise to Southampton and the Oval, Southgate were left in the capable hands of F Mir who had made the bold move of giving the new ball to Carmi and Phil, who provided an excellent three-over spell to take the shine off.

Spinners RJ, Mark Muir and Bajwa kept things very tight indeed, with Acton’s batsman enjoying a fair amount of good fortune along the way. With six overs still to find Marchello did a solid job at the death along with Matt Stratten and the Acton total of 180 looked a little below par. Notwithstanding a couple of drops the fielding was outstanding with Will Dyas as impressive as anyone.

Tea was very nice, specifically the sausage baguettes.

Edrich and Dunnett opened up and despite the early loss of Tom the score moved along nicely, with Phil composing a nice innings of 41 before nicking a good ball from the Acton overseas. Faisal and Rob departed quickly after leaving the trees in a perilous position.

However marching to the crease at number 6 was the fresh prince of Gauteng and in partnership Stratten, who made an excellent 30, took the game away from Acton. Carmi cut a confident and authoritative presence at the crease and moved to his maiden club half century which included a towering six towards the church.

However with the hard work seemingly all but done and ten to win there was a late twist with four wickets falling amidst some excellent bowling. It was very tense – two runs needed from the final over and Mark Muir was controversially given run out by Johnson at square leg, enter Marchello at 10. A dot ball followed by a scrambled leg bye brought Haseeb back on strike and he hit the winning run to see the side home and guarantee a third-round tie against a little know team on the outskirts of North Gunnersbury, I think.

Really good to have a highly competitive game with good youngsters shining for the 1st XI. The next round is on July 1st at Ealing CC, 1pm start. Rob “Transit” Johnson

Mini Bugle – results from 16 June

Brian, the Southgate Cricket Club official kitten mascot, celebrates the 1st XI's first point of the season with Gerald, the Southgate Cricket Club official dog mascot, yesterday

1st XI earn first point of the season

Hampstead v Southgate

match drawn

Hampstead 307-2 dec (60 overs)

Southgate 210-7 (60 overs)

Alvin Durgacharan 77

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2nd XI draw against Wembley

Southgate v Wembley

match drawn

Southgate 180-8 (55 overs)

M Stratton 67

Wembley 151-8 (45 overs)

S Kaligara 5-75

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3rd XI lose out to Highgate

Southgate v Highgate

Highgate won by 4 wickets

Southgate 146 all out (54.2 overs)

Highgate 147-6 (44.4 overs)

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Nine-man 4th XI lose to Alexandra palace

Alexandra Palace v Southgate

Alexandra Palace won by 6 wickets

Southgate 75 all out

Alexandra Palace 76 for 4

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Sunday Cup game

Southgate v Acton

Southgate won by 2 wickets

Acton 180-8 (45 overs)

Carmi Le Roux 3 wickets

Southgate 181-8 (44.4 overs)

Carmi Le Roux 52

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match reports to ronhewit@gmail.com by stumps on Wednesday

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Don’t forget your nominations for Player of the Week, Muppet of the Week and Champagne Moment of the Week. Bung them in the comments section below.

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Bugle 05 – match reports Sat 9 June

1st XI

Southgate v Teddington

Teddington won by 7 wickets

Southgate 80 all out (43.1 overs)

Teddington 81-3 (21 overs)

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cow corner - a high-scoring area for Southgate's batters

Local derby – Trees crush Edmonton

2s

Edmonton v Southgate

Southgate won by 1 wicket

Edmonton 181 all out (50.1 overs)

Muir 5-52

Southgate 182-9 (48.5 overs)

Following a disappointing result at Wembley last week another new-look 2nd XI turned up to face an Edmonton side who had caused problems for them at the Walker Ground only a few weeks earlier. But with a pre-match email from the skipper, Southgate arrived determined to build on the dogged point they had squeezed out of their previous contest with Edmonton.

Proceedings began with a professional and dynamic warm-up then, following the toss, we prepared to field. The pitch offered plenty of help for the seamers and both Berman and Quiyam enjoyed tight and effective first spells, bowling a consistent line and length and forcing the batsman to take risks. The breakthrough came within the first 10 overs with Sage taking a magnificent catch as the ball was struck high towards mid-off from the bowling of Berman, then Quiyam claimed the second wicket, caught low to Muir’s right at point. Edmonton’s danger man escaped an almost certain lbw appeal off the bowling of Quiyam early before he once again frustrated the Gate, building a key innings that carried Edmonton over the hundred mark before Muir lured him down the track to the delight of Ellis behind the stumps. Muir went on to claim a brilliant five-for on debut for Southgate, including a brilliant catch in the deep from Edrich and a confidently taken caught and bowled, ending with figures of 5-52. An impressive bowling and fielding performance was rounded off by a typically neat and effective spell from the skipper, who picked up two wickets to finish the innings and leave us facing a target of 181 in 49 overs, with a long and talented batting line up hungry to get back to winning ways!

Ellis and Edrich set off at a blistering pace, scoring at almost 6 an over for the opening 12 overs with both players looking solid and Ellis dispatching balls from both end to all corners of the ground. Edrich looked comfortable as he advanced into the teens and Ellis continued to take the attack to the bowlers, to the point where Edmonton’s ‘star player’ couldn’t take any more punishment as Ellis put a perfectly good delivery into the next borough over ‘straight-ish mid wicket’ (aka Cow Corner) he deserted his team and trudged off to an early shower and sheepishly headed home, leaving Edmonton with only 10 players.

Edrich was struck on the pad in front of the sticks on 17 as he went down as the first lbw victim! Off the back of 103* at Wembley, Joseph strode to the wicket with confidence as he looked to continue where he left off, Southgate looking safe in the knowledge that Ellis and Joseph had the firepower to propel us towards the target. However it was not to be. As Ellis looked to send another straight delivery to the leg-side boundary, the ball shot along the ground and struck the bottom of middle stump, bowling him for 39. Southgate then lost two quick wickets as Saeed was removed first ball edging to first slip, Mapara then became the second lbw victim as he was struck on the front leg by a straight ball that he appeared to inside edge onto the pad, but by this time the umpire was not hanging around as a few debatable decisions began to crop up.

Stratten came in at six hoping to offer some support to Joseph and steady the ship. The partnership got off to a steady start and both batsmen settled in, scoring at three an over as Southgate regained control of the game. Both players displayed some good stroke play and responsible batting to move the score from 70-4 to 145-4 before Stratten toppled out of the crease to be dismissed, stumped for 41. Joseph could only go one better as he was out caught deep on the point boundary throwing the bat at a wide one. So on 150-6 the job of finishing the game was left to the lower order. Dangerfield was unlucky with another controversial lbw decision. leaving Berman and Muir with a bit of work to do. They added valuable runs as a boundary from Muir got us within touching distance, needing only 10 off 2.3 overs, But the umpire was on a mission as Mur was also judged lbw, Quiyam and Berman then had the chance to finish the game. Following instruction from Berman to ‘block out the rest of the over’ Quiyam latched onto his second ball and smashed it over cow corner for 6 to get us within two runs of the target. An invaluable cameo from Berman came to an end in the penultimate over, leaving Quiyam and Carr at the wicket requiring just two to win.

A solid performance all round from the Southgate men was finished off with a glance down to third man from Quiyam to bring up the winning runs and ecstatic celebrations from the boundary! We showed real heart in pulling together as a team to beat tough opponents – each player did their bit, with great leadership from Sage consolidating an important win propelling us towards the top of the table and potential promotion! Matt Stratten

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Bunting Australian leaves 3s reeling

3s

Shepherds Bush v Southgate

Shepherds Bush won by 3 wickets

Southgate 158 all out (54.4 overs)

Shepherds Bush 159-7 (37.3 overs)

After the torrential rain of last week it’s a wonder that there was a game at all on Saturday.  As it turned out, it was quite a good one (although playing right next to Heathrow Airport was a bit unpleasant).

True to form, captain Mike lost the toss (why break the habit of a lifetime?) and Southgate were put into bat on a horribly slow turgid wicket. Shepherd Bush’s opening bowlers bowled tightly – a dull length at a dull pace, clearly intent on boring our batsmen out. The plan worked and before long Southgate’s openers were back in the pavilion (a turn of phrase – there was no proper pavilion at this most unlovely of cricket grounds, just a concrete monstrosity that doubled as a set of changing rooms). Adam Jouning and Paul Lassman steadied the ship and responded to the Bush’s nagging lengths with stoic defence. Runs were not easy to come by on such a slow wicket and eventually Southgate plodded to 30 odd for 2 off 20. Spectacular viewing.

Paul eventually fell for a well made 24.  Adam continued to battle on and began to look more at ease before being dubiously given out leg before for 40.  Southgate’s middle order tried to push the scoring on a little bit, but with the opening bowlers still bowling and wickets falling at regular intervals runs were slow in coming.  That is until Sam Faruqi wandered in at number 10 and made the wicket look like Lord’s in midsummer, bunting Bush’s bowlers over cover and point for a couple of much-needed boundaries. He fell in the final over, meaning we had limped to 158 all out off 54.4 overs. This was never really going to be enough against a team that had plundered 314 off us at Southgate two weeks before and included an Australian who hit a cool 108 off 40 balls.  Don’t drop him!

Tea was fine. I’ll give it a 5.5/10, which wasn’t bad considering we had been warned by one of Bush’s players to expect the worst tea we were ever going to have (although it would have to go some to be worse than the one the week before where the tea had to be brought in a thermos flask by one of the oppo’s player’s dad’s. Great.)

Bush’s innings has got to be an example of the worst cricket ever played.  158 was never enough runs on a tiny ground; they would have got it easily with a bit of sensible batting.  However they were either desperate to get home and watch the footie or they were trying to make up for the tedium of our innings, but sensible batting was not the order of the day. Mike Carter and Roy Marret bowled very well and very straight. Bush’s players had clearly not heard of the mantra ‘you miss I hit’ and so began to slog at everything.  Runs did certainly come, but so did wickets – Mike taking three early ones – and suddenly we were in the game. In walked the Australian chap at number 5 and the ball started to fly everywhere and we were back out of the game. In desperation, Mike threw the ball to De Crescenzo who bowled a half tracker that their big gun slapped straight to Mike at square leg.

Their new batsman hit his first ball over mid on for 6.  ‘Play yourself in mate’ we shouted.  So he did – he blocked the next one.  And then hit his next ball for 6. He continued to try his best to get caught on the boundary until eventually he slogged Faruqi up in the air and Paul took a comfortable catch.  Terrible cricket.  Sadly, however, they had one guy who clearly didn’t care about football and batted properly, making 50 not out and taking them to the victory with two wickets remaining.

It was slightly disappointing that despite Bush’s best efforts to gift us the game we were unable to take the final few wickets for the second week in a row.  In reality, however, 158 was never really going to be enough runs and however well we bowled and fielded we were always slightly behind in the game.  Alex Kennedy

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lightning doesn't strike twice for 4s as they post low total but fail to blast out the opposition this time round

10-man Trees foiled by North London youth

4s

Southgate v North London

North London won by 7 wickets

Southgate 141 all out (50 overs)

the last three wickets were a hat-trick

North London 142-3 (35 overs)

We scrabbled around to get a side and only got to 10 as Rolty got his brother Graham to play at the last minute, and Sal kept wicket with a pulled hamstring (thanks to them). To add to our woes we lost the toss and were stuck in on a very wet track (lots of games in our league were off, so hats off to the ground staff). The skipper polled around for an opener and even though the prospect of batting with Gordon has got to be better than watching him, there were no volunteers so he had to do it himself. After a steady start there was a comedy run out. Rolty gloved the ball to short fine leg for a simple catch. He didn’t seem to realise there was a fielder there and started sauntering for a routine single. Gordon was ball watching, the sitter was dropped, Gordon screamed ‘go back’, Rolty didn’t and was run out.

Number 3 Groves pulled a hamstring (is it infectious?) and so didn’t last too long. The main partnership of the innings was between Gordon and Ravi. This was slow but steady and took us to about 80 when Ravi was sawn off by Del when given LBW after a big nick. After that progress was steady. Gordon was out for 49 after about 40 overs but Brad, Graham and Rohan Silva injected some energy. In the last over Rohan hit three big shots and then missed. Habbers and then Del tried to repeat the big hits but only succeeded in emulating Rohan’s final ball. So the juvenile off-spinner got a hat-trick and the match ball.

At tea we were fairly optimistic as there were many parallels with the previous week when we’d scraped to a much lower score but then managed to bowl out AP cheaply.

In reply Habbers got an early wicket. This was remarkable only in that Chris Groves, despite v painful hamstring, seemed determined to charge from slip to backward point to take the catch even though Gordon was standing under the ball. Gordon held his ground with screams of ‘mine, mine, mine’ and disaster was averted. After that the innings settled down and then slowly accelerated to a comfortable victory. Rohan and Ravi both got wickets, Graham bowled very steadily, but we never really got in amongst them. Doug Gordon

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Don’t forget…

your nominations for the SCC Virtual Geoffrey Boycott Awards

Player of the week

Muppet of the week

Champagne Moment of the week

Make your suggestions in the comment box below please

Mini Bugle – results from Sat 9 June

1st XI

Southgate v Teddington

Teddington won by 7 wickets

Southgate 80 all out (43.1 overs)

Teddington 81-3 (21 overs)

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2s

Edmonton v Southgate

Southgate won by 1 wicket

Edmonton 181 all out (50.1 overs)

Muir 5-52

Southgate 182-9 (48.5 overs)

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3s

Shepherds Bush v Southgate

Shepherds Bush won by 3 wickets

Southgate 158 all out (54.3 overs)

Shepherds Bush 159-7 (37.3 overs)

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4s

Southgate v North London

result unknown

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Now let’s hear from you…

let’s have your nominations/ideas for the following

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The SCC Virtual Geoffrey Boycott Player of the Week…

Who had an outstanding game with bat or ball? Who raised their game when a big effort was needed? Who would have had Geoffrey Boycott purring with appreciation? Let’s get some names in the frame and give recognition where it’s due

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The SCC Virtual Geoffrey Boycott Muppet of the Week…

The other side of the coin from above. Who played like a stuffed toy and had our hypothetical Geoffrey Boycott reaching for his “My nan could have played that with a stick of rhubarb” simile? Or his “My nan could bowl better with a Chinese turnip” simile?

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The SCC Virtual Geoffrey Boycott Champagne Moment of the Week

If  our virtual Geoffrey Boycott could get his hands on a bottle of champagne, who would he award it to and why? It could be a great stroke, a great piece of bowling, a stunning catch, or even just turning up for a game when your club needs you most.

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Over to you, let’s have your ideas and suggestions for the above categories and I’ll announce the winners in the Big Bugle later this week.

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All suggestions and match reports to ronhewit@gmail.com by stumps Wednesday. Or put them in the comment section below. Thanks all

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Bugle 04 – Match Reports Saturday 2 June

1st XI youth policy shows encouraging signs

A fourth defeat for the 1st XI, but as Alexander Pope (Kent and England) once said, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast”

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1st XI Southgate v Hampstead

Hampstead won by 147 runs

Hampstead 242-6 (63 overs)

Southgate 95 all out (32 overs)

The 1st XI faced another tough challenge with the visit of a resurgent Hampstead side to the Walker Ground. Southgate were buoyed by the return to club colours of South African Carmi Le Roux and also enjoyed the rare opportunity to select 18-year-old left-arm spinner Ashley Sivarajah, available because it was school holidays, but we were without Creese, Hadgie and Tom Allan.

In damp conditions the Hampstead skipper Mark Divin, fresh from a 90-odd and 7-for in their big win against Ealing the week before, opted to bat first.

Having bowled really well over the last few weeks, and in the absence of our Sri Lankan maestro, it was Faisal Mir who found himself in the unaccustomed position of bowling up the hill and he hit an excellent line and length early on. Carmi, who’d missed a couple of games with a hip injury, bowled well and took the first wicket courtesy of a Tom Edrich snaffle at square leg, and Middlesex CCC player Tom Smith was lbw to Faisal to leave the visitors 32 for 2.

The Australian Divin, in at 3, was joined by in-form left hander Mubasher Hassan and having survived a testing spell from Faisal they gained momentum in a partnership that took them towards the lunch break in a strong position. Haseeb Bajwa and Ashley Sivarajah in his first spell for the 1st XI toiled away but without success as Southgate pressed for the third wicket.

With reports of widespread bunting in the UK it was good to see Ben the Chairman back from Amsterdam. Resplendent in a blue cagoule, he was on hand to offer sound advice and support from the perimeter, more akin to a geography teacher on a school expedition than having Andy Flower on the balcony, but good to have him along nonetheless.

Refreshed by a strong cup of tea and Sue’s fisherman’s pie, Carmi Le Roux resumed post lunch and quickly snapped up the dangerous Divin for 71 with a sharp return catch. Hassan, formerly of the MCC Young Cricketers, continued with increasing authority after a shaky start and moved to a well-constructed half century before holing out to mid-off.

Faisal, now charging in down the hill, bowled an excellent spell and was unlucky no to take more wickets but, in partnership with Ashley, made life difficult for the Hampstead batsman, who were looking to build on an their solid platform. Particular credit is due to young Sivarajah who has thus far been unavailable due to school cricket commitments. His spell post-lunch was very encouraging with subtle changes in pace keeping a lid on the batsman and producing two wickets courtesy of an excellent catch at long on from Tom Edrich and a sharp stumping from Phil Dunnett. Those who championed these three as the future stars of the club are beginning to see their judgement vindicated.

With 63 overs bowled, Hampstead posted a solid 242 for 6. Faisal Mir’s figures were 19 overs 1 maiden 2 for 67, and Ashley bowled 21 overs 2 maidens 2 for 86.

After a brisk and positive beginning the wheels fell off the Southgate innings with a nightmarish half hour before tea – 23 without loss became 24 for4 with some poor judgement from three of the batsman and a decision we would have referred if we’d had access to the technology accounting for the fourth.

Once again following a break in play Southgate’s fortunes changed with Phil Dunnett and the captain taking the attack to the bowlers with some ultra-positive shots through and over the covers more reminiscent of their sparkling T20 partnership mid-week.

With the ball crashing off the middle of Phil’s bat he really showed what a talented young player he is and Hampstead were forced to ring the changes as Tom Smith’s long hop was also put away with ease.

However, as Smith gained rhythm he was joined by the talismanic Divin bowling a nippy mixture of fast-medium seam and swing. This was to prove the key bowling change as Dunnett was adjudged lbw sweeping, followed by Johnson hit plumb on the toe by a good inswinging yorker. Edrich, who’d hung around with the skipper, was also sent on his way, paying the price for missing a sweep, and the rest of the order succumbed to Divin.

On reflection, a game of two halves with a good effort in the field followed by a nightmare with the bat. It was a captain’s performance once again by Hampstead’s skipper, and many lessons to learn for Southgate. We learned that Faisal actually loves bowling up the hill and also saw great promise in Siva Jnr’s 21-over spell, not to mention Phil’s counter-attacking cameo.

We do, however, need to step up as there is no place to hide in the top echelons of Middlesex League cricket and the next month shows no let up with groundhog fortnight against Teddington and Hampstead, followed by the small matter of Ealing and Eastcote. That said, these early matches can only make us stronger as a unit and better as cricketers. Rob Johnson

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A typical 2nd XI lunch

Wembley win a thriller but cricket is the winner blah blah blah

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2s Wembley v Southgate

Wembley won by 3 wickets

Southgate 258-4 (49 overs)

M Joseph 103*

Wembley 262-7 (51 overs)

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On the back of a well fought point at home to Edmonton, a much-changed 2nd XI travelled to Wembley looking to put last week’s experiences behind them. Upon arrival, Sage whipped out possibly the most middle-class lunch known to man, a tomato and avacado salad followed by mango. Under the white cloud of Wembley, Max led a vigorous warm-up. Well, vigorous for a man fresh off the back off seven pints the night before. For the first time this season Sage’s tossing skills let us down and the Wembley skipper was quick to ask us to bat.

Scott and Parinder strode out to the middle. Looking to make use of the short leg-side boundary, Scott flicked the second ball of the match into the stands for a maximum. Scott provided some great catching practise for the Wembley fielders, who managed to make the ball look like a bar of soap, but also hit some sumptuous drives down the ground on his way to a quickfire 35. Parinder found the going slightly more difficult, initially finding it hard to lay bat on ball, but after a few classy flicks, he was on his way before falling for 30.

Max and Saeed were able to sustain the high run rate, showing no mercy in dispatching anything loose to all parts of the ground. The two were engaged in a race to 50: Saeed fell shortly after reaching the landmark. However, Max had other ideas. With some aggressive strokeplay and clinical accuracy he went on to register his first ton of the season – 103 not out, a fine knock. Unfortunately Stratten didn’t trouble the scorers but Omar, in at 6, provided Max with good support in the latter.

With 49 overs bowled and the Gate well placed at 258-4, Sage had seen enough and called the troops in. Tea consisted of a wide selection of sandwiches and cakes. A solid 7.5/10. The addition of some watermelon or orange segments may have bumped this up to an 8.5. It’s also worth noting the orange squash was the wrong side of dilute.

Fuelled by determination and tea, the Gate took to the field. Sage’s fleece went on and when the fleece goes on, you can be sure Sage means business. Josh and Abdul took the new ball with Abdul making an early inroad into the Wembley upper order. Josh had difficulty bowling in-swingers towards a short leg side boundary. (See figure 1).

Figure 1

Wembley had made a good start, scoring above the required rate, however Surresh bowled with great control and accuracy to stem the flow, backed up by Sage at the other end. But the Wembley batsmen exploited the short boundary, hitting a number of maximums, and soon 260 began to look increasingly small.

At the drinks break, Wembley needed 140 to win in 25 overs with six wickets in hand. Messrs Ellis and Joseph said it would go to the wire, and indeed it did. Surresh kept plugging away in tandem with Perinder and Sage, however the Wembley batsman played diligently and were on track, requiring 55 off the last 10. As the game drew to a close, some catastrophic running, and peculiar umpiring, left the hosts needing two off the last over, with four wickets left in the bank. The batsman ran a single off the second ball of the over, leaving the scores level with four balls left. Surresh snared his man lbw with the fourth ball, meaning it was well and truly squeaky-bum time. The situation got even squeakier when their number 9 took an air shot at the fifth ball.  One to win off the last ball. The field was in tight, t time for a hero to step up to the plate… Unfortunately, this was the Wembley number 9 who squirted a late cut backward of point to win the match.

On reflection, it was a thrilling game of cricket that we didn’t deserve to lose. Without sounding too much like a football manager, we need to take the positives out of the game and continue to play with the same intensity in our push for promotion. Josh Berman

[Sorry Josh, the beautiful graphic illustration of the short boundary you provided didn’t translate to the website]

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Kittens. Nothing to do with the game but at this point I thought everyone would appreciate a little pussy

Another tight finish see the Gate just lose out (cricket again the winner, probably)

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3s Highgate v Southgate

Highgate won by 2 wickets

Southgate 170 all out (41 overs)

Amir Mapara 74

Highgate 171-8 (49.1 0vers)

Asif Rajah 3-38

As the weather returned to the usual English conditions we arrived at a rented ground with state-of-the-art facilities and what looked like an average batting track and overcast conditions. The toss was an important one to win but Mike’s poor run of losing every toss continued and we were put in to bat.

Amir and Asif looked comfortable early on, with Amir taking the majority of the strike, scoring very fluently and making batting look easy, but a poor call saw Asif was run out by a good direct hit. Out walked Alex Kennedy, who played defensively early, but a loose shot and a sharp caught and bowled by the young spinner saw him depart for his second duck in a row. In at number four was Kareem, who played his usual flamboyant game, but his luck soon ran out and he left after scoring a quick 18. Then, at number 5, Anton tried to sweep a full delivery and was bowled. Out walked De Crescenzo, who struggled with the inswing the bowler was getting down the hill, but managed to time one over mid off for four, then got bowled later without really troubling the scorer. We then began to fall apart and ended on 170 all out off only 40 overs. Amir got a fantastic 74  and down the order Dave, Ricky Gunn and Mike all  contributed well.

Tea was appalling on just about every level, not the mention the curved table that was a challenge to eat on.

Highgate 171-8 Asif Rajah 3-38

Dave and Roy opened the bowling and started off reasonably well. Roy finished wicketless, but took an excellent sharp catch at slip to give Dave a wicket. Then Sam Faruqi came on and bowled a couple of excellent overs, taking a wicket. Then Captain Carter brought himself on and took a clever caught and bowled. Then a spell of three wickets in four balls saw the game change, with Asif taking two and De Crescenzo getting a decent run out. A further run out from Carter meant they were eight wickets down, but we simply could get the last two wickets despite the best efforts of  Kareem and Asif. Marcello De Crescenzo

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A little Wisdom sees the 4th XI grab a stunning victory

It’s not over. Believe…

Doug “Chanderpaul” Gordon and Alex “Lightning” Habberly and a 1st XI sage combine to see the 4s pull off a stunning victory

4th XI

Southgate v Alexandra Park

Southgate won by 33 runs

Southgate 91 all out (44 overs)

Doug Gordon 32

Alexandra Park 58 all out (xx overs)

Alex Habberly 5 for 24

Nadeem Mazhar 2 for 1

After last week’s no-show by the opposition, and with the countdown to a home fixture against near-neighbours Alexandra Palace under way, anxious faces peeked out the home changing room to see if the opposition turned up… and they did. After a team talk that consisted mostly of the forthcoming England match and Twitter rants, the skipper lost the toss and the Gate were put into bat. Delmore kindly agreed to umpire the entire game for a fee of two beers, a small price to pay for the home batsmen who could play safe in the knowledge that if anything hit their pads they could bet their house that… [at this point the Bugle editor would like to point out that Delmore is a fine, upstanding member of the umpiring community and treats every appeal for an lbw, a catch or a run out on its merits and is in no way biased towards either team in any way, shape or form.]

Doug Gordon and Adam Jouning opened the batting. Adam went early and was replaced by debutant Omar Hassan, who in turn was soon given out (perhaps surprisingly by Delmore, but see note above) to a ball that was heading down the leg side and the batsmen at least a foot outside the crease. The Gate looked in shock, and the two-beer deal was turning out to be as poor a decision as the inclusion of Jordan Henderson in the England squad for the Euros. Chris Groves and Will Dias also fell cheaply to leave the Gate on 21-4 – 21 hard-won runs that came about in approximately 19 overs. Doug Gordon, defiant in defence stood firm. Sal Syed, bored out his wits in the dugout, struck some well-timed lusty blows for a quickfire 18 but wickets tumbled regularly to leave us  on 77 for 8. Doug dug in to score 32 from many, many balls (the opposition scorer ran out of dots) but thanks to him Southgate ended up with a total of 91 all out from 44 overs. Alexandra Palace’s opening bowler bowled 21 consecutive overs to finish with figures of 4-38, a truly Herculean feat.

Dejected, the Gate trooped to the pavilion to replenish energy and enthusiasm. Tea consisted of chips, vegetable curry and mini croissant. Noting the glum faces, a member of Southgate 1st XI gave some wise advice: “It’s not over. Believe.” A member of the opposition believed in the teas, judging by the number of edible goodies that he stacked up on his plate.

After a hearty tea, and guesses to what time the match would finish, Abdul Munawar and Alex Habberly were trusted with the new ball. After a steady 11 from the opening four overs, it looked like the match was going to end in a quick defeat, akin to a kill from an episode of Game of Thrones (an amazing show – look it up!). What happened next set the tone for one of the best performances with the ball in recent memory. Alex Habberley, bowling very fast, got one to nip the edge of the opener’s bat and Omar Hassan, standing up, took a very sharp catch. Omar put in a very impressive display behind the stumps, combining technical skill and sharp reflexes.

Alex, fired up and with pace, accounted for the second and third batsmen, one of them a sharp catch at square leg from Nadeem. Abdul, from the other end, clean bowled the fourth batsman and had the new batsman caught by Nadeem, again at square leg. Suddenly, from nowhere, Ally Pally found themselves in trouble at 44-7, with Habbers getting his fifth wicket via a sharp catch at point by Sal.

The tiring Abdul was replaced by Nadeem, whose first ball trapped the batsmen lbw. His next ball was top-edged and Habberly took a smart catch. The hat-trick ball beat the bat and, agonizingly, missed the stump by an inch. Nadeem finished the match with figures of 3 overs, 2 maidens, 2 for 1 run and three catches. Alex Jouning replaced Alex Habberley and finished the match with a wicket, with Ally Pally all out for 58. The pick of the bowlers was Alex Habberly with figures of 12 overs, 2 maidens, 5 for 24. A well-deserved jug!

To summarise, it was as good a bowling and fielding performance you will see at the Paulin Ground this year. Good intensity and tidy fielding, combined with smiles and enthusiasm from all members of the team accounted for a great win from an impossible position. Overall a great game of cricket to play with a great bunch of lads. Nadeem Mazhar

NB I have no idea or the meaning behind this, but I have been requested by Delmore to include this in the match report.

Delmore requests 11 burgers

Alex Habberly deserves 5 burgers

Alan Rolt and Doug Gordon 2 burgers each.

If you require clarification on this what that means, please see Delmore. For those who know the true meaning, please share…

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Questions, question…

What does Sue put in her fisherman’s pie?

Is a tomato and avacado salad really the epitome of a middle-class lunch?

Who was the mystery 1st XI player whose words inspired the 4s to victory?

What drugs is Delmore on?

Your answers to the usual address please

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Bugle – results from Saturday 2 June

No Jubilee joy for Trees

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1s Southgate v Hampstead

Hampstead won by 147 runs

Hampstead 242-6 (63 overs)

Southgate 95 all out (32 overs)

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2s Wembley v Southgate

Wembley won by 3 wickets

Southgate 258-4 (49 overs)

M Joseph 103*

Wembley 262-7 (51 overs)

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3s Highgate v Southgate

Highgate won by 2 wickets

Southgate 170 all out (41 overs)

A Mapara 73

Highgate 171-8 (49.1 0vers)

A Rajah 3-38

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4s Southgate v Alexandra Park

result unknown

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match reports to ronhewit@gmail.com by stumps Wednesday